Day 18: Defy Gravity: Your Butt-Sculpting Workout Plan

AKA: JUST YOU AND IIIIIII DEFYYYYYYYYING GRAVITY

AKA: Dirty Dancing: The workout

AKA: The revenge of Sandra Lee

AKA: The post that almost didn’t happen

Wow, I can’t believe WordPress would make a post with 4 SUBTITLES not happen! I’ve actually been hindered twice in making this post….first, WordPress claimed “server maintenance”, and THEN I had a good chunk of this post typed up, but my computer’s stupid hotkeys thought that I wanted to go back a couple webpages when I really just wanted to PRESS THE BACKSPACE BUTTON AND DELETE THINGS. Seriously, the back button and the backspace key are TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.

Weirdly enough, Livejournal has been down today too. NO ONE CAN BLOG.

Anyway, I actually have a lot more to say about this workout than usual, so let’s get started and hope this post actually works! *crosses fingers*

This workout comes to us from Fitness Magazine, which means that we’re back to workout videos….and Sandra Lee -_-. I’m really going to hate her when I’m done with this Grand Experiment.

Here’s the link: http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/workout/butt/exercises/exercises-to-target-butt-muscles/?page=1

First of all, they weren’t kidding when they said “defying gravity”! It wasn’t stated outright, but I feel like this workout took its inspiration from two styles of dance. Ballet, and dancing…IN DAH CLOUGHB.

Spelling of “club” from this video:

OWW, A BLAST FROM THE PAST!

So, half the exercises in this workout involved lifting my legs SUPER HIGH like a ballerina and stretching my leg muscles as much as I could…

And half of them involved….moving my hips….suggestively. It’s best if you watch this video:

http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/workout/butt/exercises/exercises-to-target-butt-muscles/?page=5

Now, is that working out, or is that dirty dancing? Whatever it was, I’m glad no one was able to watch me, or videotape me for blackmail reasons.

The videos were really needed in this workout, because each exercise seriously consisted of about 10 different steps. I often had to re-watch the videos or keep consulting the instructions to make sure I was including all the steps. 

Overall, though, it was a good workout. The moves were challenging, but not too tough. I will admit that there were some moves where I obviously couldn’t contort my body the right way (see: the fly trap) but I appreciated the challenge.

Difficulty: 7

Enjoyment: 4

 

Day 17: Lower Ab Attack

AKA: ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This workout, brought to us (again) from Back on Pointe, was difficult, but I don’t know if I’d call it an ATTACK. Weirdly enough, my neck is more sore than my (nonexistent) abs are, from all the variations on crunches that are present in this workout. When I say “nonexistent” in the previous sentence, I mean in the sense that my abs are unrecognizable as abs because they’re hidden under my fat, not in the sense that my abs are so awesome that they’re unnoticeable. Just wanted to make that clear.

Anyway, I KNOW that this means that I’m doing my crunches wrong, but I really was trying hard this time, so I don’t know what I could be doing differently. Meh, I guess it will become better as I keep doing this.

Here’s the link to today’s workout, by the way:

http://backonpointe.tumblr.com/post/32527700658/want-to-tone-up-those-hard-to-reach-lower

Notable hard points were the bicycle crunches (which really hurt my neck) and the seated knee tucks (which were hard because of my balance issues, but I managed to kind of do them). 

This gets….probably a 7.5 on difficulty, and a 5 on enjoyment.

Day 16: Kill Those Legs!

AKA: But…but….I need my legs to walk!

AKA: http://www.theonion.com/articles/jessica-simpson-reveals-slimmer-figure-after-chopp,30453/

(which is what this workout reminded me of)

Not to say that this workout made me want to chop off my limbs, or that it was even super hard on them. It was pretty hard on the legs, but not SUPER INTENSE OMG like the title implies. This workout was good overall, and it added some new exercises into my repertoire  including wall sits, star jumps, and inner thigh lifts! I looked incredibly stupid during all of those exercises, by the way.

This workout comes to us from Back on Pointe. Link: http://backonpointe.tumblr.com/post/26014627525/clear-some-space-and-kill-those-legs

Overall, this was a good, quick workout (but still pretty tiring). I was glad I was able to successfully complete it after giving up on yesterday’s workout. I’ll give it a 5 on difficulty and enjoyment, but that might be because I have a headache right now which makes it hard to enjoy running around. Heh.